So, I’m trying something different this post. I have been wanting to write this all down for a while, but have not had the time to sit and write it. For some reason, I’m getting a little bit of inspiration to just write. No quotes, no pictures, just words on a blank sheet of paper.
I’ll admit; I’ve never been a writer....mist people that blog know just how to say things...me, not so much! In high school my Mom had to nag and nag for me to just write a one page paper. I have never really enjoyed writing until I started blogging. I am not the best, but it has been a place where I can write all my thoughts down and it has even helped me work trough things. I’ve never been a person that’s totally comfortable writing about myself or about the things I’ve been through. Maybe it’s because I’m not totally comfortable with myself or maybe it’s because I have a really hard time just letting go and learning how to trust people. I feel like people can get really frustrated with me because I have a really hard time letting people find out who I really am. I always want to have the tuff skin and be the one who is always there to help someone up when they fall. Sometimes, I feel like if I give everything away- my thoughts, my fears, my feelings- that once that person decides to leave (which they always do at one point or another), I won’t have anything left to myself. I love my best friends, and I have no earthly idea what I would do without them, but sometimes I truly am confused myself and just can't find the words.
I’ve learned a lot this last year- who I am, who I want to be, what I want out of life, what my deepest fears are, what makes me so happy, and who I am in Christ. There are still a ton of things that I have yet to learn, and for me, life is constantly showing me that I don’t know everything. I’m still learning and with all the moving I have done it has really shown me where my priorities are and where they need to be. I’m still learning how to be a better person, how to be a better friend, how to be a better sister, how to be a better daughter, how to be a better teacher, and every time I realize I am not perfect- and far from it. It frustrates me when people think I’m perfect or that I try to act like I’m "perfect/holy" because I don’t smoke or drink. People always ask why I’m not the typical 22 year old that goes out and drinks and seamlessly flirts with guys, but the thing is I’m not trying to be perfect. I feel like people won’t respect you unless you have respect for yourself. People should love you for your heart, not because of what you look like or the things that you’ve done. One shouldn’t have to get drunk or smoke or have a boyfriend just so people will like you. If you show people your heart and how much you genuinely care about them, people will like you for you. And if they don’t, well you don't have control of that. I can't base who I am off of what others feel or say. I think that one of the biggest things that I’ve learned this year is that there’s so much to people than meets the eye, people are so much bolder and so much more beautiful than they give themselves credit for. Just remember, that sometimes, the way you think about a person, isn’t the way they actually are.
My Amazing Family
I can't say how blessed I am with the family that the Lord has given me. In these last few months I have heard about so many broken and hurting families and it breaks my heart! I talked to a friend on the phone the other day that said that her and her dad no longer have a relationship, and I can't imagine not being able to talk or go to a Dad or Mom for advice. I am not saying that my family is perfect and we have not had our seasons of storms, but we have always pulled through.
We always have each others backs.
We celebrate our victories.
We talk about our dreams, and encourage each other to reach towards those dreams.
We help each other to stay positive when life gets rough.
We laugh.
We cry.
We push each other outside of our comfort zones to help each other grow.
We watch chopped/worstcooks “together” but in separate houses and some of us in different states and call it a girls’ night so that we can feel like we are hanging out together.
We remind ourselves that everything happens for a reason when life doesn’t go as planned and that it will all work out in the end.
Most of all We support and love each other unconditionally.
Being closer to family is why I moved, I am so excited to start this new journey called life with them closer to my side. I am ready for the visits or even if it is just meeting up for coffee or doughnuts. This Christmas season was one I won't forget! It was simple yet what mattered was the focus and not getting caught up in the busyness that the season can bring. We spent time together as a family, and thats what will be remembered...not all that we got or did, but just that we were together.
I feel like that kinda was scattered allover the place, but I knew I wanted to share all of that. This is a blog and I will never know who this challenges or make a difference, but I know for me this has been a growing year and I am so ready to see what 2016 has for me. I hope you can continue to come on this crazy ride with me...so what do you say?
Get you seat belts on because it will be a crazy ride!
With a Pinch of Love,
Lil'Chef
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